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| Confederate Civil War Soldier, John M Lawrence's Parole |
Identifying the father of my grandfather after all these
years has been an exciting time. It’s
been so interesting to research brand new family lines. The Lawrences, Priests,
O’Bannons, Tapps, etc., were early, founding residents of Virginia and through
them, I’ve realized that I have Native American heritage. Yet, researching these families has often left
me feeling very conflicted. You see, my
newfound families were slaveholders. I’ve yet to find any of my “new” ancestral
families that did not own slaves. The thought of it is difficult to stomach.
Many of my friends are African American. My son’s lifelong best friend is D*. His
mother is from Japan and his father is African American. D* is like a second
son to me and he calls me Mom. I wonder if my friends or D* would think
differently of me knowing my ancestors owned slaves? I know it was a very long time ago and I
personally did not own another human being but I’m feeling this weird guilt by
association.
During Spring Break, D* spent a lot of time at our
house. The boys were hanging out with me
in the living room, watching a movie and goofing around. I was doing some online research when I
stumbled upon my 5th great grandfather, Bryan O’Bannon’s will. Finding a will can be like finding a goldmine
of information sometimes so I couldn’t wait to start combing through it.
Immediately, I started seeing Bryan O’Bannon doling out slaves to his children
and grandchildren just the same as he was doling out chairs and horses.
From the will of
Bryan O’Bannon, 4 September 1760:
To son, John O’Bannon – plantation whereon
he now lives, 212 a. – Negro woman Judy, after death of son John and his wife,
Sarah, sd. Negroe (if living) to granddaughter Sarah dau. of John – “the said
Negroe Judy shall after my Decease be Totally Exempted from Labouring without
Doors during her Natural Life”. Still and young unbroken horse.
I cringed. Bryan O’Bannon
not only willed Judy to his son but dictated that she be given to John’s
daughter after their death if poor Judy was still alive?! In the next sentence
he wills John a horse?! I could not possibly wrap my head around what I just
read. Reading that will with D* across the room from me, I could feel myself
turn red. I felt bad and embarrassed and
quickly shut down my laptop.
My 2nd great grandfather and Confederate Civil War Soldier, John Mason Lawrence, at age 91.
Another conflict is really just an extension of the slavery
issue. I’ve done plenty of Civil War research on my great grandfathers and
uncles but they were Union soldiers.
John Mason Lawrence, my second great grandfather, was a Confederate
soldier. In my mind, they were the ones
fighting to keep their slaves, to keep people as private property. Fighting to own another person is just
foreign to me. While I don’t like the fact that John Mason Lawrence was a
confederate soldier, I have tried to look at the situation through his eyes in
order to be more accepting of him. Fortunately,
I have learned some things that ease my anxiety.
He was a part of the 43rd battalion Virginia
Cavalry, better known as Mosby’s Rangers. The Union side called them “guerillas”
so there has been much written about them and many artifacts from their
skirmishes are around today.
Fortunately, John Mason Lawrence is very much a part of the documented
Mosby’s Rangers’ history. His pistol and
gun horn are in a museum and there’s a picture of them on line. He attended
most Civil War reunions. Since he lived to be almost 95 years old, my family is
able to see John progress in age in the group photos taken of the men at the
reunions. We can look at his photos as a young man and see features which are
in our own faces. In his military file, there is an incredible photo of John
from 1936 at age 91, watching a re-enactment at Manassas. He looks frail but behind
that huge beard and hat, there’s great pride in his eyes.
I read a story passed on by John’s granddaughter. She said
that the Union soldiers had ransacked John’s family farm when he was 16 or
17. Immediately, John ran away from home
to join Mosby’s Rangers. His father,
John Neville Lawrence, realizing he was gone, went out to search for him,
brought him back home, made him pack up some provisions, and then allowed his
son to return to Mosby’s Rangers. We all have family folklore that is so
stretched that the subject seems heroic. This is one family story I want to
keep as true. If I think about the hurt
and rage that John Mason Lawrence felt as he watched his home being torn apart,
his reason for wanting to be a Confederate soldier makes me feel better. I can’t bear to think of any other reason for
John Mason Lawrence to be a soldier.
